Last week was long, and stressful – amazingly none (almost none) of the stress had anything to do with Coronavirus, though like everyone toilet roll has now become rarer than a four-leaf clover. This could be next week’s stress…
Just over a week ago my small chihuahua broke all four of her toes in one paw. The breaks were difficult in part due to her size, but also due to the fact all four were broken not just one. So last week consisted of diagnoses, consultation and eventually surgery. I cannot thank East NEUK Vets enough for how amazingly they took care of Simi. I got updates daily on how she was doing. Since they were over three-hour drive away, she was there slightly longer than normal, and over a weekend. She was spoilt and loved. She’s got a bit of recovering to do yet, but she is home now and doing well – with her little St-Patrick’s day dressing.
On top of dealing with the stress of finding the best way to help Simi, and pay for it, I ate something that did not agree with me. So, I spent the start of last week with my stomach in double knots. It sorted itself out thankfully, but the combination did nothing to help my focus. I achieved no writing at all until the weekend, when I knew Simi had come out of surgery and was all OK.
All my best laid plans fell by the wayside. Progress was 0 until the weekend where I did manage to edit the short shorty Friction and start editing on Ride the Rainbow. Not a lot of progress.
I berated myself of how little I got done, I told myself I could have written something, edited something. The voice in the back of my mind said – you could have done better. Stress was not an excuse.
It was the weekend before I realised what I was doing. I had to tell myself it was OK, convince myself that life is allowed to get in the way. I was editing my story again at the weekend. I did not walk away from it. I was still doing writing, was still working on my stories. I think a lot of my self-flagellation comes from the fear that if I don’t keep going, I will let the threads go again, and the writing will be forgotten. I don’t want that to happen.
One of the good things about where I am just now with my writing is that I mostly don’t have any deadline except that which I have set myself. I can take the time to make sure I am well, that my dog is going to be healthy again. To relax.
The News at the moment is filled with depression, and sad tidings. Keep focused on what you want, and if you can’t get there yet know that this will not always be the way. It will pass, you are allowed to be sad, to be stressed and worried, but don’t let it stop you from keeping on doing what you love.